Female Pornography
Apparently romance novels are the female version of pornography. Men want to get right to the point (no pun intended) and stampede towards the clitoris. Women only want to see men going through violent internal emotional struggles to make themselves worthy of their beloved. Sound familiar?
This has three major consequences for Western civilization:
- We no longer have to pretend Jane Eyre is literature. Whew! I mean, honestly, what does Jane ever do but, A. suffer (damsel in distress) and B. be a perfect little goody two shoes? For this she is rewarded with the undying love of wealthy Edward Rochester who must wrestle with his internal demons to win her. And what is the message at the end when he can only get her after he’s become an invalid? Dark. Dark. No, it’s goodbye to you, Jane Eyre. RIP
- Jane Austen, you’re next.
- Guys: When your significant other laments your lack of romance, you can now defend yourselves: “Honey, you don’t want me to reduce our relationship to pornography, do you?” And , if she says, “As a matter of fact, yes,” well, hey…