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Posted by Andrew I. Dayton on April 27, 19100 at 13:16:48:
In Reply to: Kickoff Note from the author posted by Andrew I. Dayton on April 27, 19100 at 13:09:40:
I originally wrote "Fall" in the first person, primarily because I wanted a strong sense of immediacy. I also felt that the first person would, not surprisingly, best put the reader in the mind of Demi and allow for his confusion and incomprehension.
Eli Flam, editor of Potomac Review, pointed out that it would be difficult for Demi to so accurately remember so many details at the much later time point in his life when he sat down to tell the story. Eli suggested trying the third person.
I was a little worried at first, but found that by simply switching from "I" to "he" or "the boy" (and making a few minor, appropriate changes) I could move to the third person while keeping very, very close to Demi's point of view. I was surprised at how close.
We also had some discussion about how much to use "the boy" and "he" instead of "Demi". The worry was that too much "he" and "the boy" made things stark. We settled on the current version. Curiously, when I read the story now, I have a feeling of being in an empty, echoing room. I feel this sense of reverberation amplifies Demi's sensation of isolation. This feeling was not there when the story was in the first person and I think it would be lost by having the narrator even once refer to the boy using his name, Demi. So there were interesting, beneficial, unintended consequences in switching the p.o.v.
There was one line (and I think only one) which lost power in the transition to the third person. This is the line:
"Then it was just quiet, with the mother upstairs and the boy downstairs and Stephen in the kitchen and Jenny in her room and the father in his box."
In the first person, it had much more strength:
"Then it was just quiet, with mother upstairs and me downstairs and Stephen in the kitchen and Jenny in her room and Daddy in his box."
Oh well, a small price to pay!